kerouac_jack_tm.jpg

(Caption: 'Excuse me?' Jack Kerouac, above, knows where they can shove their manuscript.)

Things You Shouldn't Say To Writers, Part I.

There are several puzzling, amusing and offensive things said to writers with uncanny frequency, often at writers' festivals, book signings or whilst trying to absorb caffeine at their local cyber-cafe-cum-office. More often than not, these declarations, queries or requests are made quite innocently. Hear me now when I warn you that once published you will receive offers to proofread taxi driver's manuscripts gratis, write the biographies of anonymous strangers ('You should really write my life story. No I've never read your books. They are fiction, you say?'), and co-write The Great Australian Novel with your plumber. It just happens. In honor of this time-worn tradition, The Book Post will publish some of the best examples of Things You Shouldn't Say To Writers. Suggestions are encouraged.

I'll start with this beauty: "These [novels] look great. Who writes them for you?" (Asked at my own book signing at Book Expo America, apparently innocently.)

Now your turn.

Happy reading,
tara_signature_trans.gif

(For more on the things people say at writers festivals, try this article I wrote the SMH, 'When writers' festivals turn into Twilight Zone episodes'.)